Thursday, January 09, 2014

Remembering Mom

My mother passed away December 29th. For the last couple years of her life she was almost exclusively confined to her chair, a wheel chair, and her bed. But that is not how I choose to remember her.

I will remember her as the hardest working person I’ve ever known, and one of the most disciplined. She was a farm wife, which means she was a full partner with my father in the operation of the family farm - sharing fully in all the work, but receiving little of the recognition (such as it was). She drove tractor in the fields. She washed and sanitized the milking machines, bulk tank and other milk house equipment. She could feed and milk the cows if she needed to, but Dad usually did that.

In the non-farm realm, she did just about everything. She gave birth to and raised 10 children. Included with that were cooking, cleaning, raising a large garden (from which she annually canned and froze an impressive amount of produce), baking bread and cakes, sewing (both mending and making clothes), decorating (including flowers inside and out).

Some tasks that fell to Mom would fall in the "farm-related" category, such as going to town (often a couple towns down the road) in search of replacement parts for whatever machine was currently broken down - inevitably at the time it was most needed. Another farm-related task was keeping down the population of pigeons by shooting them when they perched on the roofs of the barns or silos. Mom was a crack shot with her 22 caliber rifle. The legend that she once killed 2 pigeons with a single shot is true - I witnessed it!

Another legendary story about Mom is that shortly after she married Dad, he had her go out to the field with him to try to kill some woodchucks. He had her drive the tractor while he used the 22 rifle to shoot at the woodchucks. Within a short time of having her around he figured out that she was better with the rifle than he was, so they switched roles, and had better luck killing woodchucks!

To say my Mom sewed is a huge understatement. She mended old clothes and made new clothes using patterns which she purchased and customized. She accumulated boxes and boxes of patterns! The new clothes were primarily for her daughters and herself. She made new matching dresses for the first day of school in the fall, for each of her daughters going to school that year. I've seen the "first day of school" pictures, starting with just one daughter and continuing up to five daughters, all in a row and wearing identical dresses (her first 5 children were all female). Of course, as they grew she also taught her daughters to sew! All seven daughters and one son eventually became proficient.

Later on she became a prolific quilter, making at least one quilt for each child and grandchild. She showed off her products at quilt shows and county fairs, winning more than her share of awards over the years. Her quilts and those she made together with the other members of her Homemakers club were frequently auctioned off for charitable causes.

In addition to sewing she also knitted, crocheted, embroidered, etc. When her children were in primary and secondary school she kitted them all mittens for Christmas, every year! There were also knitted hats and sweaters. While in college, I remember being on a plane and the flight attendant complimenting me on my sweater - which Mom had made for me.

Mom was well known among her children's primary school teachers for her fruit cakes. I realize that in the many years since, holiday fruit cakes have not just fallen out of favor, but become a standard laugh line - as in: "There is really only a single fruit cake that continues to be regifted year after year". However, back then, a well-made fruit cake was highly valued (really!), and my Mom's were legendary.

Mom was a 4-H leader, and for a time ran her own 4-H club, the Lucky Clovers. We used to meet at the Town Hall.

Did I mention that Mom was the Town Clerk for the rural township in which our farm was located? She inherited the job from my Dad's mom, and served for almost 50 years, eventually passing the job on to one of her daughters. She remained involved, unofficially, in township government until her death. What I most remember is that, during the Christmas season she would work late into the night calculating the Town's tax roll - since the tax bills needed to go out in time to give folks the opportunity to pay them (or pay half) in the current tax year if they chose to. I also remember her early calculators. They were heavy enough to give you a hernia!

Mom was a legendary baker. We had home-made bread and biscuits all the time when I was growing up. From her mother-in-law she learned to make Bohemian traditional breads including Houska and Kolache (which we called Kolachas and Kukan). Her pies were incredible. My personal favorite was blueberry, but she made pies of all  kinds from rhubarb to banana cream to pumpkin, with a flaky crust few restaurants can match!

Also, Mom was chief organizer and communicator in our family. She shopped for our birthday and Christmas gifts. Later, as we scattered around the state, the country and beyond, she sent letters and birthday cards to us. She had an incredible knack for getting those birthday cards to each of us on time regardless of where we might be - including such destinations as El Salvador, Central America; Arecibo, Puerto Rico; and Paris, France.

Are you impressed yet? Mom was not a great person or a famous one. She falls into that much less recognized category of good, hard-working people. Dad used to say, "Nobody will ever do for you what your mother already has." In my case he was even more right than he knew.

Bye Mom, I already miss you a bunch. I hope you are getting a good rest and having a beer with Dad.